It wasn't the couple's fault. A week before the wedding part of the church roof collapsed. We did our best to get things tidy. And they did see the funny side. The scaffolding in church looked great covered with balloons and ribbons.

But scaffolding gave me the chance to talk with them about how to build a marriage. The things we can do to help our relationships grow and flourish.

One thing I asked them to do was ‘mind your language’. I mean, one of the signs of a marriage in difficulty is the way couples talk TO one another and the way they talk ABOUT one another.

Moaning, criticism and complaining can kill any kind of warmth or intimacy. And when you hear someone say “Do you know what my husband said last night” or “Do you know what my wife did?” you know things are on the slide - especially since our marriage vows call us to honour one another.

Perhaps this is why Jesus had some pretty direct things to say about ridiculing or criticising others and why the first thing the Holy Spirit did at Pentecost was something very radical with our tongues.

At Pentecost God gave his people the kind of speech that everybody marvelled at. It was speech that encouraged, brought people together and passed on goodness and truth.

So, ‘mind your language’.Why not ask God to give you THAT kind of speech? It’s sure to make you friends and it’s bound to save your marriage.

  • The Rev David Wilmot, Vicar of Troutbeck and Windermere