GROW YOUR OWN FOOD WITH DIRTY NAILS MAY, 1ST WEEK EARTHING-UP SPUDS Both First and Second Early spuds are up and showing, which pleases Dirty Nails. He grows his spuds in trenches with the excavated soil thrown up in ridges running adjacent. At this time in the season, the tops (known as ‘haulms’) sprout at regular intervals from within the trench. His Concorde First Earlies, which were planted in mid-March, are most advanced. They have a rapidly increasing tuft of healthy looking greenery. Dirty Nails has earthed them up twice this week. It is a straightforward procedure which involves almost covering the haulms with fresh soil. This encourages further growth and more underground tuber production in the process. These developing spuds need to be kept free from exposure to light, and earthing-up does this job too. A draw (swan-necked) hoe is used to push and drag mounded soil from either side snugly around the haulms. Earthing-up is an ongoing job as potatoes grow fast, and his Second Early Kestrel spuds will also need it done in the next day or two. Dirty Nails enjoys the look of freshly earthed-up tatties. Over the summer, his potato plot changes shape completely. The ridges and trenches gradually swap places until the entire bed is covered with dense foliage. Weeds are kept in check until then by the regular soil disturbance.

GREENHOUSE SLUG PATROL During a torchlight sortie in the greenhouse to remove feasting slugs and snails Dirty Nails found a wonder of nature amongst his 4 to 6 inch (10 to 15 cm) high climbing French beans. Half concealed by the lush umbrella of green, shield-shaped seedling leaves was a mass hatching of minute, pin-prick sized, yellow-and-black garden spiders. They had collected there, huddled together like a golden ball. In the beam of his torch, the spider-bundle was viewed close up, enmeshed within a complex matrix of glistening gossamer threads.

A few days later, the colony had relocated itself to the ceiling. The growing but still tiny spiderlings rested, suspended amongst an invisible web, until Dirty Nails accidentally jogged a line of attached strands amongst the beans. Thereupon the mass of dainty baby bodies exploded down and out like a miniature starburst, only regrouping slowly when the threat had passed.

Hand-picking destructive molluscs has proved very successful. Worryingly high numbers have been gathered up and re-homed into the wilderness beyond the back wall.

EXTRACTS FROM DIRTY NAILS’ JOURNAL TESS’S STORY “Tess comes from East Dorset. As a tiny fox cub, she was found on a pig farm near Hurn. She lay, abandoned and lost, on a farm track. The farmer who found her at first mistook the little fox for a dead rat and carried on his duties. It was only later, when she was seen to move by the farmer as he was passing, that she was taken in by this sympathetic soul.

“Tess was raised initially in the farmhouse with cats, and they all rubbed along well. However, as is the case with most foxes in domestic situations, she grew too big and boisterous for the household. The farmer contacted an animal rescue worker in the New Forest, and Tess was moved to a new home.

“The woman with whom she was now living noticed that Tess had been imprinted and preferred to spend her time in the company of humans as opposed to other foxes. She could not stay in the New Forest because of this. Another animal rescue worker paved the way for her passage to Walnut Tree Farm in West Dorset, the home of a couple called Derek and Elizabeth. Although they were both reticent at first, previous experience of raising wild mammals and their compassionate disposition meant that they were unable to turn the young vixen away. One spring, Tess arrived in the Marshwood Vale in a small box.

“A fox-release pen was already in position at a suitable location on the farm. It had belonged to a well-known wildlife photographer and author, and been used for many a year in his New Forest sanctuary at Amies Corner. At Walnut Tree Farm it had continued to help rehabilitate orphaned and injured foxes. Now it housed Tess.

“After only two or three nights in her pen Tess was making it clear that she was significantly domesticated and craved human company. She was going frantic when left alone. This was very upsetting for her carers. Experts from around the country, with experience of foxes, were consulted. This was not a situation with which many people were familiar. No one was of the opinion that she could survive as a wild fox. Among the advice was the suggestion that Tess should be relocated to a sanctuary in Somerset where she could live out her life in captivity.

“This was a tough time for Derek and Elizabeth. The responsibilities of taking on rescued wildlife are enormous and often thankless. Fortunately for Tess, she had ended up in the hands of a very special couple of people. Ignoring the suggestions and advice given, Derek and Elizabeth decided that she was to stay on the farm. A close and powerful bond was developing between the species, and this was reinforced by time spent in each other’s company. One day, Elizabeth let Tess out of her pen ’accidentally on purpose’. Amazingly, the fox trotted in and out while the door was open. At the end of that day Tess was shut into her pen. “When Elizabeth opened the pen door next day Tess shot out and vanished. For three nights she wasn’t seen. Her carers became desperately worried about her. Surveillance cameras were rigged up to watch the pen, which had been left with the door ajar. Incredibly, the cameras picked up the image of a fox which was relayed to a television screen in the farmhouse. Was it Tess?

“Next night, food was placed inside the pen and around the outside also. Elizabeth sat close by, calling in a voice which Tess should recognise. Seemingly out of nowhere, the little vixen burst out of the hedge, into Elizabeth’s arms, and sat on her lap just like a pet cat. She was more interested in her human friend than the food, and showing all the signs of being very happy again.

“Over the following nights, food was put out for Tess gradually nearer and nearer the farmhouse. Before long, she was feeding on the patio and sleeping in the conservatory as long as the door was never shut. She was living wild but using the farmhouse for food and shelter.

“In that following summer she was regularly attacked by resident foxes already living in the area. Tess would turn up at the farmhouse with various injuries, some of which were serious. She would unfailingly allow herself to be handled and treated by Derek and Elizabeth for wounds, cuts and chewed ears. Skilfully and patiently applied ointments, tablets and tender loving care kept Tess as healthy as possible.

“She was, and continued to be, a very emotional fox. Arriving at the farmhouse with fresh ailments, Tess would cry and whine until comforted by either of her special friends. After many months the bullying stopped. It appeared that Tess had established herself in this territory and was integrating well in the wild animal community.

“Early last year Tess came up to the farmhouse as was her daily habit for food and grooming, except this time she was crying pitifully. As Elizabeth approached she ran off, then stopped a short distance away and turned around. Using this pattern of behaviour, Tess encouraged Elizabeth to follow her back to a fox earth in a hedge on the farm. It was big earth, used for breeding. Tess went into the earth and Elizabeth waited, crouched at the entrance, talking gently and soothingly. Tess was sounding distressed, noisy and restless.

“This behaviour was repeated again and again over the next few days. There was no sign of any cubs, but Tess’s nipples did swell slightly. Derek and Elizabeth concluded that she had experienced some kind of phantom pregnancy.

“This spring Tess has given birth to cubs of her own. She disappeared for three nights to bear her young and then recover. Since then, she has been busily raising them on whatever food she has been able to find, including increased rations from the farmhouse patio. Since giving birth, her visits have been noticeably brief and unfussy. The abandoned cub from Hurn has grown into a fully-functioning adult fox, and is now herself a mother.”

JOBS TO DO In the greenhouse Pot-on kale (Dwarf Green Curled, Pentland Brig and Thousandhead), Early and Late purple sprouting broccoli, Marner Gruwefi and January King cabbage, Prinz celeriac.

Nightly slug patrol.

Keep refreshing beer traps.

Sow calabrese and January King cabbages.

Pot-on Pure Luck okra, Salad Bowl lettuce, black knapweed (for the bees).

Pot-on cauliflowers very carefully, with minimal disturbance to roots.

On the plot Prepare firm and fertile beds for kale and Brussels sprouts.

Plant out Pentland Brig and Westland Wonder kale, Wellington F1 Brussels sprouts.

Plant out Salad Bowl and Lobjoits Green Cos lettuce seedlings.

Earth-up First Early Concorde spuds.

Sow Boltardy beetroot, White Lisbon spring onion, Berlicum and Autumn Giant carrots, Swiss chard, leaf beet.

Pull up and compost purple sprouting broccoli plants.

Start to clean, turn over and enrich a bed for this coming season’s purple sprouting broccoli.

Liquid feed tomatoes, broad beans, leaf beet.

Plant out Marner Gruwefi Savoy cabbage.

Keep leek nursery bed well watered.

Erect poles ready for runner beans.

Sow Best Of All swedes.

Keep the hoe busy wherever and whenever possible.

Plant out purple sprouting broccoli.

Water all crops well if no rain is forthcoming.

Thin carrot and lettuce seedlings (from a mid-April sowing).

Check turnips for flea beetle damage and take preventative measures where it is severe. Light nibbling of leaves won’t affect the crop.

Earth-up Second Early Kestrel spuds.

A Vegetable Gardener's Year by Dirty Nails (ISBN 9781905862221) is available from www.dirtynails.co.uk or good bookstores, priced £12.99 Copyright, Joe Hashman, May 2009